Oct 15, 2003

Frayed personal ends

My best friend – since I was 17 and he was 18 – sent me an e-mail today telling me he’s in a new job and it’s been a long time since we’ve talked but he’s working ten hour days and he’s considering some major life decisions, and I realize we haven’t had a good talk since late summer and even that was too elliptical. I need to sit down with him and talk for 8 hours but can’t.

My brother turned 11 yesterday and I couldn’t find a good time to call him. He called me, but I was so harried between two meetings a paper due today and trying to help design a paper, I couldn’t give him full attention.

My dad got on the phone and was saying we need to talk – we haven’t had a full talk since I left this summer – and all I could say was “I’ve got 3 minutes but maybe this weekend.”

I was talking to a friend here and couldn’t remember the name of a close/important friend of my brothers.

I’ve finally, a little bit, got caught up with my sister and had a good talk over break. It’s been a struggle though, since we’re both too busy to match schedules.

Have been thinking about the philosophy I’m spending time on and am a little frustrated that all my work is going into projects for today or next week. I’m not really doing anything now that’s long term for me – I can have fun with Kripke and Descartes but it’s all terrible short term. I think I need to reevaluate and focus on some projects I’d still like to be working on a few years from now.

I’m trying to carry everything here and am sorry for the things I’ve dropped. Know that I’m desperately trying to take up my slack.