Jul 8, 2004

Words on the mirror

I don’t remember when I first pushed someone away not from fear but from concern for their well being, when I saw that the same gravity drawing in is a gravity with power to crush and mangle, but it’s become a habit.

How could I accept your forgiveness? You’re willing to, what?, half-erase my faults, leaving them secrets waiting to be re-discovered and actually secrets already known and waiting, holding till tomorrow? What will you do? Forgive me three times before the cock crows?

Up to half my kingdom, the emporer says. And so we friendships value, I think, in what we’re willing to give. But nothing costs so much as walking away. And I’m always walking away.